Concepts of Attachment Theory
One of the main aims of My Family is to help parents to understand the basic concepts of Attachment Theory, and how the concepts can help them gain a better understanding of the functioning of their relationship with their child/ren. It is believed that creating an informed understanding of these concepts enables parents to become more empathic and attuned to their child/ren's needs. It also helps them to better understand how they can increase the safety within the relationship(s).
Safe Haven
‘Safe Haven’ is a concept that sits at the heart of Attachment Theory (Foster et al, 2025). It refers to the idea that children are predisposed to seek out one or more of their familiar caregivers as a metaphorical ‘Safe Haven’ when they are hurt, anxious, distressed, or alarmed (Marvin et al, 2016).
A ‘Safe Haven’ can be used to refer to the physical distance required to make a child feel safe; for example, for a young baby this could be through skin-to-skin contact, or for a toddler, it may be them having visual contact with their caregiver (O'Shaughnessy et al, 2023).
Having trust in the availability and responsiveness of a ‘Safe Haven’ is not only advantageous throughout childhood, but it is associated with delivering positive outcomes many years later for children who have grown up in adversity (England et al, 2011, cited in Foster et al, 2025).
Secure Base
A ‘Secure Base’ is a key feature of Bowlby’s theory of attachment (Bowlby, 1988) and refers to a caregiver who supports a child’s exploration when their attachment system is not activated (Duschinsky et al, 2024). Having trust in a caregiver’s availability and responsiveness allows a child to treat their caregiver as a ‘Secure Base’ for exploration, whereby they can venture out into their environment to explore and learn, feeling confident that help will be available if needed (Foster et al, 2025).
Importantly, as children grow older and venture steadily further from their base and for increasing spans of time, the more confident they become that their base is secure. This sense of security, and the knowledge that it will be ready to respond if called upon, the more a child can take it for granted (Bowlby, 1988).
Internal Working Models
Bowlby explained that by creating memories and templates of how relationships work, we develop ‘Internal Working Models’ to make predictions about future experiences based on what has happened in the past (Golding, 2008).
For example, if a caregiver consistently responds to their child’s needs, it will help the child develop a model of how people can be trusted and reliable to meet their needs. Conversely, if children do not receive emotional warmth and affection from their caregiver(s), they may grow up to believe they are not worthy of receiving love or affection.
Mentalisation
Mentalisation, also known as Reflective Functioning (RF), refers to the psychological processes that underpin the capacity to understand ourselves and others based on our mental states, such as our feelings, beliefs, intentions, and desires. It involves both self-reflection and an interpersonal component, enabling people to distinguish between inner and outer reality, pretend and real modes of functioning, and intrapersonal and interpersonal processes. This developmental skill allows individuals to interpret behaviour in terms of underlying mental states, making actions meaningful and predictable (Fonagy et al, 1998).
There are significant benefits for a child when a caregiver can mentalise. It increases their capacity to understand their child’s behaviour from an underlying mental state perspective (i.e. thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and intentions) and plays a crucial role in the child’s emotional and social development (Rossouw et al, 2021).
"Life is best organised as a series of daring adventures from a Secure Base."
John Bowlby