Think of it like this:

When you were a small baby, you needed someone to feed you, cuddle you, and to keep you safe. Your special adult(s) should have been like your superhero. If your special adult(s) was consistently present and met your needs for nourishment, comfort and safety, you learned that the world can be a safe place and that you are important and loved. You also learned that if you were scared, distressed, or hurt, you could go to your special adult(s) for a hug, and they would make you feel better. As you knew that your special adult(s) was always there if you needed them, this made you feel brave enough to go off into the world to explore and play.

If your special adult(s) offered you consistent and predictable care, it also created a special home base that you knew you could go back to for support. For example, you were able to develop confidence that you could venture away from your special adult(s) to play and explore, knowing that on your return, your special adult would show delight in your presence, and they would offer you comfort if you felt tired or sad.

And guess what? How your special adult(s) made you feel when you were a little child helped you understand how people would treat you when you got bigger. This meant that if you were treated well, you learnt how to treat others well and how to make friends. Sadly, this also meant that if you were treated badly, you might have grown up to believe that the world is scary and dangerous, and that you cannot trust anyone.

One last super important thing to remember is that although our early life experiences are believed to be foundational within Attachment Theory, research has helped us understand that we can change over time. Importantly, we know that we can change our behaviours through positive relational experiences, including having relationships that make us feel safe, loved, and understood.